Everybody's Free (To Wear Sunscreen)
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; Oh never mind, you will never understand the power and the beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in twenty years, you will look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now, how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked.
You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don't worry about the future or worry that know that worrying is as affective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind. The kind that blindsides you at 4 PM on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Sing.
Don't be reckless with other peoples' hearts; don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don't waste your time on jealousy, sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters; Throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don't feel guilty if you don't know what to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to knees, you'll miss them when they're gone.
Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't.
Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the "Funky Chicken" on your 75th wedding anniversary.
Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either.
Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can, don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.
Dance. Even if you have nowhere to do it but your own living room.
Read the directions even if you don't follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Brother and sister together will make it through, Some day a spirit will take you and guide you there, I know you've been hurting, but I've been waiting to be there for you And I'll be there just helping you out, whenever I ca-a-anChorus
Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings. They are your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go. But a precious few, who should hold on.
Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, for as the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.
Live in northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain alible truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old and when you do, you'll fanaticise that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don't expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse but you'll never know when either one will run out.
Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're forty, it will look eighty-five.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of wishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling for more than it's worth. But trust me on the sunscreen.
Everybody's Free, oh yeah, to feel good, ohhhhh, to feel good.
No Sex (in the Champagne Room)
Ladies and Gentlemen of the GED class of 1999 I have one piece of advice for you No matter what a stripper tells you... There is NO SEX in the champagne room NONE! Oh, there's CHAMPAGNE in the champagne room But you don't want champagne... You want SEX! And there's NO SEX in the champagne room Don't go to parties with metal detectors Sure, it feels safe inside... But what about all those niggas waitin' outside with guns?... They know you ain't got one! If a woman tells you she's 20, and looks 16 - she's 12 If she tells you she's 26 and LOOKS 26 - she's damn near 40! Take off that silly-ass hat! The ODB couldn't have possibly committed all those crimes... Coolio did some of dat shit! Young, black men: If you go to a movie theater and someone steps on your foot... LET IT SLIIIIDE... Why spend the next 20 years in jail Cuz someone smudged your PUMA? CORNBREAD... Ain't nuttin' wrong wit that! No matter what you think of what I'm sayin' Remember this one thing...
There is NO SEX in the champagne room (Ohh...no sex in the champagne room (x6) There's absolutely, positively no sex in the champagne room no..no...)
If a homeless person has a funny sign He hasn't been homeless that long A REAL homeless person is too HUNGRY to be funny If a girl has a pierced tongue, She'll probably suck your DICK If a guy has a pierced tongue, He'll probably suck your DICK Here's a HORRORscope for everyone: Aquarius - YOU'RE GONNA DIE Capricorn - YOU'RE GONNA DIE Gemini - YOU'RE GONNA DIE TWICE! Leo - YOU'RE GONNA DIE Scorpio - YOU'RE GONNA DIE FUCKIN'! No one goes to Hooters for wings If you've been dating a man for 4 months And you haven't met any of his friends... You are NOT his girlfriend! Some of the things I said may not apply to you Some of the things I said may offend you But no matter who you are, You MUST REMEMBER this ONE thing: No matter what a stripper says... there is NO SEX in the champagne room NONE!
(No sex in the champagne room I said no sex in the champagne room No sex in the champagne room No no sex in the champagne room No sex in the champagne room Ain't gettin' none, can't have none..noo... In the champagne room......ahh ahh..... There's absolutely positively no sex in the champagne room Say noo..noo... say nooooo..... there ain't no sex.... In the champagne room noo..no....)
Todos validos consejos al fin... o no?
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